gramps.

as the cold winter air, begins to turn my not so dry hair into icicles,
the door opens.
The oh so familiar home engulfs my thoughts, as i am overwhelmed.
why? not sure.. just one of those days.
as we hugged gloria and sat down.. i see the stable oxygen tank, and the green cord piled on the ground.
he enters the room.
the clear, joyful, face fills my eyes with tears.
i quickly approach the fragile body,
and hug him as gently as i could.
we sat down, gave him the crossword puzzle, and card and began to talk.
as concerned as ever he asks about each child, and college plans.
my eyes begin to float to each unique item in the room.
the shell necklaces that hung around the stair rail, Samoa.
the wooden elephants placed in groups, Africa.
porcelain ballerinas, spain.
Glass dolls, Germany.
carved wood plaque, Jeruselum.
marble table, Ethiopia.
Memories nearly tangible, floating around a man with a soul so old and intelligent, almost impossible.
a life, lived.
giving everything he could.
As i trail through the christmas's provided, the birthday cards with money, and big shoes, only he could fill.
my grandpa.
It is hard to see someone you love, go through trials.
he is so strong, but how much longer will his strength endure?
time will tell.
as i hug him goodbye and walk down the grey concrete,
my heart is filled with thankfulness, as my eyes fill once more with tears.
my grandpa.
love you so much.
always will.

hi. best friend? member me?

it is incredible how fast someone can disregard you from their life.

i feel like i need a flashing sign to wave in their face to ask if they remember me.

i understand growing up, graduating, and moving on,.
I'm ready..

but i didn't know tied to that was, forget about you, not text you back, or not give a crap at all.

i hate loosing friends,
and realizing that we will never be what we were..
kills me.
let me know when you're done growing up and being all "cool" k.
cause at one point we were all each other had.


ughh.