five years ago today the world seemed to be more confusing than i could have ever imagined.
Laughing and talking about how my clothes never match, Nate, Stewart, Wyatt, and I walked home from school. Did i think I was so cool, seeing as we were walking to my house to see if i could go hang out with them... Yes, yes i did. Covering topics about the usual seventh grade troubles, Mr. Winget, and how "girls were so dramatic" we got closer to my house. As we crossed the side street that divided natani's house and mine there was such a solitude i had never felt about my yard. My house seemed deserted though it looked no different than it did the day before. I told them to wait there while i ran in to ask my mom if i could go hang out. I ran inside as things seemed to be put in slow motion, i looked down the hall to see my mom hysterically crying on her bed, and looked at my dad. I asked him if i could go hang out and as he replied no, i felt the need to not push it by asking why. I ran back out, utterly confused and told them that i could probably hang out later but i needed to clean my room. I shuffled back in and sat down in the living room as i heard my mom on the phone telling someone "Rey had passed away". I didn't get it. How could I loose someone that i knew and loved so deeply. I had told everyone that my uncle Rey was my favorite uncle from day one. I loved all my uncles but for some reason had felt like uncle Rey had made me feel extra special, as he did everyone. Though a mere thirteen years seemed to be a long time to me in the moment, i look back now and feel like i had only known him for a split second. So why if so little time spent with him do i feel impelled to write a long blog post about him? because, he's here. I know some of what he has gone through, not nearly half of it, but i know he knows what i am going through.. every last bit of it. I feel comforted by him, as choices are needing to be made. I feel his guidance, and light throughout my life.. daily. Thank you for surrounding me in times of need, i am so grateful i am blessed with such an incredible guardian angel. High school is tough, and sometimes i feel bad that people don't have such a loving uncle guiding their way. Helping them when they don't feel strong enough to decide things on their own. I can't wait to see you again, and thank you for all that you have done for me. Love and miss you uncle rey... always will.
"Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, may looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow"