Sunday, October 23, 2011

take as you wish.

I don't wish to out blog someone. Post the most inspiring quote. Update the most on facebook. Be the girl everyone loves at school. Be the most creative. Always have the best advice. Or be someone people look up to. 
But for the record..
At points in my life i have felt like there was nobody to turn to. That i didn't want to explain my thoughts.. or what i needed to my friends because of how stupid i might sound. The nights when you just beg that someone would come to your mind that would listen or be understanding, but it never seems to happen. I have be betrayed by friends countless times. I am extremely insecure. I have felt alone. There are things that have happened in my life that have completely wrecked me. Times that i don't want to get out of bed because life just doesn't seem worth it. and to be straight up. I know I am not the only one. I know that growing up isn't easy for anyone. And there is so many decisions you have to make that aren't easy. That there are times that you just wish for one person to be there.. and that everything would be alright. I'm glad that blogs kind of bring out the "growing up sucks.. but i'm doing it" side of everyone.. because it is nice to know that you aren't the only one. 
I know that life sucks sometimes. and that there are people out there who are debating on if it is worth it. And to get personal.. i have been surrounded countless times with people who don't want to do it anymore. Who are ready to throw in the towel. and it is incredible how many people feel that way, and how so many people are to damn prideful to care.
So here is to anyone out there:
It's hard. sometimes too hard to handle.. but people say it's worth it. Those that have gone through just as shitty of things as you have. And they are here and well. So don't give up. I don't want to be the fake girl who is friends with everyone "because she cares".. like that's just not me.. i'm not about to throw away who i am to be someone else to people. But i'll tell you this much. I am here to listen. That is me. I find strength in others, and know that sometimes it's leaning on other people that gets you through those times. I know that without some of my friends.. i would be stuck in sadness. or troubled times.. i know that there is certain people who have no idea how much they have touched my life and helped me to keep going. I'm not going to try to understand why you feel the way you do, or tell you how you should live your life. Because that is your part. But i will listen. and sometimes that is all people need. Know that i love you.. who ever you are. not because you read my blog... haha (which may be a slight factor) but that you aren't conceited and read this entire thing. haha.. just know that there is someone there.. and those nights when you just need someone to listen.. i'll be there. no matter the circumstances.. and i honest to the man up stairs mean that. keep on keepin on. 

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