hick central. yallll.

Grover, Wyoming: Population 120

Percent of population that have mullets: 82%

The other eighteen being horses, or babies that don't have long enough hair yet.

And for the record, we aren't talking about the "oh I'm a cute boy in high school that thinks I'm cool with a mullet" I'm talking the nappy, haven't brushed it in weeks, probably haven't showered this month, mullet.

Home Sweet Home.

Where you get dirt instead of side walks,

Four wheelers instead of cars,

Horses everywhere,

Cowboy hats on every head,

The aroma of... dirt,

A total of maybe 10 restaurants within a 30 minute drive. (and that's pushing it.)

One bowling alley (biggest hit in town)

and two grocery stores, that close at six.. well seven on the weekends.. these folks work crazy late.

Where everyone waves to everyone like they are best friends,

Where the size of your house doesn't define who you are,

the amount of crap (if i may say) outside your house doesn't make you "white trash"

and your "next-door neighbors" are within maybe a mile or so.

Where you pick a trial on your four wheeler, and hope to get back to the main road within a hour or so.

Where you drive down the road and smell campfire consistently,

and have dirt on your face... always.

Where the parade "floats" are falling apart, and throw out so much candy that after the parade ended the streets were still filled with candy that no one wanted, because they already have enough.

Where you hear jokes like "You dropped your pocket mam'" or "Your socks untied" in the parking lot..

and the new addition "You ready to bolt like troy bolten"

Where flannel, and overalls are where it's at,

and if your hair isn't frizzy, in a mullet, or a french braid down the back, you look like a fool.

Where the cashiers all ask you "You here for the derby?!" like it's the event of a life time.

If you don't get the point..

Wyoming is the greatest place... ever.

Good week? I'd say so.

y'all hear? haha

perfection infection.

In a world that judgements are common.
Jumping to conclusion is ordinary.
Judging a book by it's cover is what is taught.
Normal is good, and very few fall into that category.
Skinny is right,
Beauty is make up.
In a world that no one gets a real chance.

so when do we stop.
The girl that wears the same shirt everyday may have a father that lost his job months ago.
The far to skinny girl was once called fat and can't get that thought out of her head.
The boy that never talks, has a home where he gets yelled at if he says one word.
The alcholic never had anything or anyone to turn to through the hard times, so he found the wrong thing.
The drug addict that has been trying to stop for years but can't no matter how much he has lost, how much it is literally killing himself.
The kid that turns to drugs in high school because he has never had parents that care.

The people that surround us everyday, that are too afraid to say anything because they are ashamed they aren't perfect. They don't feel anything anymore, because of what they have chosen to fit YOUR standards. So when do you stop and think about what your saying, or who you are befriending.. or maybe the opposite. When do you drop the perfect outlines, and realize people are human. Nobody is perfect, no matter how hard you try. So why are you holding these outlines above every ones heads. You have to be this way, weigh this much, have this amount of money, have this many boys want you, to be apart of my life. Be aware of who you are hurting. People make mistakes, and maybe one person is looking for your acceptance. That is all they need, to know that to you they are "perfect" or maybe just alright.. That they don't have to hide behind these walls, stigmas, personalities. That they can be them, you can be you, and together be alright.

half full i guess.

I don't believe God dropped you off and said "Here's life, it's gonna be easy. Have fun"
I don't believe anyone told you it wouldn't hurt when you fell. That you wouldn't hesitate to open up to people, when your heart was previously broken. That you would never fight with your parents, and siblings. That every relationship you had would be perfect. That your best friends would always be there for you, no matter what. That when you told someone your secrets, they wouldn't go tell everyone else. That people wouldn't take your spot in someones life. That it would be easy.

Though it isn't easy, you have to keep in mind the big picture.
That God dropped you off to a family that would be one of your biggest support systems throughout your life. That when you fell and it left a scar, that scar says "it may have hurt like a mother.. but i survived." That when you hesitate to open up to people, the one person will come along that you will never question opening up to, because you know they are the one. That when you fought with your parents and siblings, it would make you realize what you have, and what you wish to never loose. That every relationship would teach you, and reveal a new part of yourself you had never met before. That God would give you a new relationship when you need it most, when the person you thought was your best friend, proves they weren't. That you learn who you can trust, and who you shouldn't. That there is a reason why someone was only apart of your past, and your future contains new relationships, lessons, and memories.

That it wouldn't be easy, but it would be worth it.

absence.

The loss of something becomes more detrimental than you wish.

Searching in desperation, wishing that what you have lost would be apart of your life, once more.

You attach to the next thing that resembles what you have lost, because you notice the familiarity.

You still realize the absence in your life, though attatching to smiliar things seem to make it easier for the time being.

You are so familiar with the feeling of loss.

You become attatched on extreme  measures.

 If you were to loose it twice, you would feel more alone than you did the first time, because of having experienced this emotion before.

You wish things would never change, that you would be able to hold on to the relationships forever,

For once they are lost, you know they are gone.

No matter how much you try to fool yourself,

 they aren't coming back.

And when you begin to feel comfortable, and that your loss is manageable, life happens,

and the cycle repeats once more.

happy clean slate day!

I am not exempt to using excuses, but it seems the commonality is growing for people in my life, to use excuses as their language of choice. I am so sick of it. 'i can't do this or that because of what happened twenty and a half years ago, i can't do that cause i never was taught that way growing up, i can't wear that cause someone didn't compliment me on it when i wore it last year on may 23rd, i might as well just give up because that girl will always be better than me.' So what happens when twenty years down the line something doesn't work out for you? You gonna blame it on that day in 2011 that created the excuse that you couldn't do it? Like really? All i can say to you, is if you wanted something so bad that it was the only thing on your mind, you strive, live, breathe for it.. then you will find a way to make it happen. Guaranteed. Stop living a life of excuses. I don't know one person, that has dreams that have come easy for them, that they have been handed every single thing in their life.. but you know, maybe there is people like that out there.. and if so why the hell are you comparing yourself to them. When you are sitting there using excuse after excuse, comparing yourself, saying "if circumstances were different".. you know where your headed? Nowhere, and so unbelievably fast. And for you that want to live this way.. Good luck.  Circumstances will be an excuse for some, and motivation for others. The sun doesn't always shine, and optimism ain't always easy. In the end, all you can hope for is a better place than where you are at now. But here is to that day.. No, here is to today. The day when you set your sights high, and become so strong nothing will disturb you. Nothing will get in your way, and you will drop the excuses. Here is to giving that person that second chance they are in dyer need of, that you never gave because of what someone might think of you. Here is to being opened minded to people, experiences, and life, regardless of whether thats how you have been taught. Here is to wearing that shirt that you love more than life, even if someone said it was ugly. Here is to forgetting about all the reasons why you can't and remembering the reason.. even if it is only one, why you can. Peace hate. Peace excuses. Peace regret. Peace negativity. and good freaking riddins.

Todays the day.

lead not the common path.

As the writer sits, and scribes her story.
Four walls surrounding, withered carpet, dented walls.
Nothing more than necessary.
As the pen glides, she attempts to explain her thoughts, feelings, the story she calls her own.
Her critics crowd her mind, and invade her thoughts.
a trip down memory lane.
Searching for words that will connect with her readers,
anything that will make her feel alive, and open; open to the world..
a people pleasing life, hoping someone will commend her, for her work.
A feeling crosses.
Haze, and confusion.
as she questions her future.
Questions if this process is for her, if it is worth it to keep going.
As she puts the pen down and decides there is more to her; more to life.
She finds that this confined space she has found herself in, is not her.
She is trying her hardest to explain, justify, and prove herself to those around her.
There is more to life than trying to fit in with those around yourself.
Trying to fit others puzzles, when your edges are far more unique than theirs.
For the writer saw a glimpse of her life, and decided its time for a new page in her story.
One that flows, is comfortable, is her.
Finally.
As she feels the breath of fresh air, she rises above the rest.
But at times she may not always be blessed with the knowledge of where her path is leading.
and the time approaches where she shuffles, and treads along. 
She forces herself to take one more step into the unknown.
And maybe this near impossible step she took, is finally the first step in the right direction.
Maybe it will all turn up from here, and the road she now paves, is the one for her.
but maybe it isn't,
but at this point, what does the writer have to loose?
The page turns as she continues to walk, and maybe the pen will be picked up once more down the road. 
But maybe it won't be, for the writer has found a new meaning.
For the writer has been found.

day seven.

four turn offs.

1. eating loud... ahh. freaks me out.. so sick.
2. being cocky/ constantly talking about yourself.
3. bashing on other people.. especially my friends.
4. swearing consistently. for no apparent reason.