Thursday, September 1, 2011

"i must go on standing, you can't break that which isn't yours."


Caution: The recent "blues" are being reversed.
in life, there is a way.
a way to  provide for yourself, a way to find light, a way to educate yourself, a way to keep moving forward, and a way to never give up.
there is always going to be those times that you look and feel like for the life of you, you wouldn't be able to find a way to keep moving on.
the endearing urge i have to find something, hasn't quit.
what i am looking for, i'm not sure, mainly because i haven't found it yet.
humans have a drive to obtain something.
to search, or expose themselves to new situations to receive something in return.
whether that be tangible, or rather receiving a thought, or lesson.
with that in mind, those that surround you are striving for something, just as you are, 
why would you try to knock them down?
if you could live life on your own, without the influence, and impact of others, i don't think you would be here.
the influence of others is always far greater than you realize at the time.
but always, always remember it's not just you going through this detrimental time.
that others, just as you are struggling, and fighting to keep their head up.
that you aren't the one that goes through the contacts in your phone, searching for someone that would listen.
give people the benefit of the doubt, give them a chance to explain themselves, and give people time to come around.
realize they aren't purposely pushing you away.
though i am extremely good at it, my intent at heart is not to push people out of my life.
at all.
so here's a public (public meaning like the two people that read my blog) apology, if you have felt i don't want you apart of my life.
i'm sure of one person in specific that is most likely reading this, thinking yeah you are an idiot.
because my stupidity doesn't always recognize how much you've been standing here, waiting for me to come around.
and i'm sorry.
always remember you are great in someones eyes.
and though life is continuously changing, you will be okay.
life is about learning.
though it's been a funny theme song type thing, for a close friend and i.. playing pursuit of happiness continuously has opened my eyes.
"Imma do just what I want, lookin’ ahead no turnin’ back
I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain't always gonna be gold"

the sun isn't always shining for you, but it keeps shining everyday.
i am annie, and i am far from what i once was; but not yet what i am meant to be.

but this is me making an effort to change my ways.
here's to life, and open arms.

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