slow motion.

Due to the fact that my hand can't write fast enough to get the billions of emotions down in my journal, i turn to the blog.

Coincidentally two days after i write a post about how i have felt as if my definition of best friend has altered, life somewhat "slapped me in the face". Friday night was one of the scariest, and in some ways, life changing nights ever. To avoid further details, i will skip to about 12:30 that night. About fifteen texts came in from a friend that i take far too advantage of. Reluctantly, this friend is far stronger, and more in tune with those surrounding her, and seemed to know something was wrong. All i can say, is from this experience, i realized how crucial friends are. You hear that endless amounts of time, from parents, teachers, family, and for me I've more than "brushed it off my shoulder". But at times you need to realize when your not strong enough, no matter how much strength or endurance you feel you contain, at times it may not be enough. So find a friend that has the courage to stand up to you and tell you to snap at of it, at your most stubborn times. Find a friend that will tell you how they feel, regardless how hard it is, because they know it is going to hit you hard. Search for someone that will say "i will always support you and your decisions, but i want the best for you". Find a friend that explains to you that you have no other choice than to face your problems, no matter how much you've tried to avoid them. Find the one that will point out that you keep saying your fine, but your really just bottling everything up. Find the one that can get through to you and point out that you may be... well acting like an idiot. Reality check. yup.

numba two. today has been one of those, "you think it can't get worse, then it does" days. Seeing people from school at a farewell didn't make it any better. The fact that life is setting in, and we are back to the hell hole called school in about a week, makes me want to vomit. Then fights, memories, flash backs, and many dramatic, emotion filled moments girls have often... yeah just wasn't a good day. Find a friend that will drop flowers by on your porch, that make you cry because that is probably the only thing that could have made you feel at all better that day. Thank you, if your reading this... you have no idea what you did.

annie, stop being an idiot. thanks.