ten day motha.

i can do this one.
i can do it.
just like everyone else.. i can't finish a dang however many day challenge thing.
but ten days.
we'll just see i guesss.

day oneeee. ten things you wanna say to ten different people.

number 1. You are the one i look up to. the one i turn to, the person i could not go on with out. I know you believe in me, and i know you are doing everything possible to make my dreams come true. You are who i base myself off of. You teach me everyday, though i don't see you that often. You teach me how to be an individual, to go against the cliche of following the crowd. I just wish you could see how much you have helped me, and continue to do so.. What you are doing to yourself.. kills me.. but for however long i have you apart of my life i will consider myself the luckiest person alive. I love you and look up to you more than you will ever know.

number 2. i wish you could hear me pleading the truth. it rips me apart knowing whats happened between us. I hope and pray one day the truth will be out in the open.. and you will know what has gone on. Going on with how things are.. near impossible to be a little dramatic about it. but time will tell i guess.. just know i miss you. more than you can imagine.

number 3. Why do you know when im at my weakest.. my most questioning times.. and then you walk back in. do you know what your doing to me?

number 4. whats happened will never change.. but i will always love you...

number 5. You think you got me down. You think you found better. You think you knocked me off my game. More so you created a game for me.. You put this plan in my head (inception haha.) to be better than before. To come out on top. To not let you and your childish games get in my way.. In the way of my dreams, my goals for myself.. You know.. someday i hope you realize that you lost out on something great. Not in the cocky im so great way.. but rather.. we could have gone far together.. We both could have come out on top.. but you know.. now it just might be me. and im ok with that.

number 6. I hope all is well where you are. I know it's hard and i know you probably feel more alone than you ever did. But if all i can do is prove to you that i care, regardless of whats gone on.. i will be successful. I'm proud of you, and i hope your life can turn around.. i really do. I love you.. and am cheering for you every step of your way.

number 7. You were my other half. My cheerleader. My support system. My role model. My best friend. Your choices were the biggest shock to me. The way things changed so quickly.. I'm not telling you you've changed and this or that.. but always remember you were someones role model.. and when you lied to yourself and everything you ever stood for.. it didn't just bring you down.. miss you..

number 8. never forget. i love you.

number 9. thank you for being the one i can fall back on. the one i always do.. regardless of how ungrateful i am towards you for your friendship you have never let me down. You somehow get me in a way i will never understand but i appreciate it more than you will ever know. You always have found a way to put me first.. and when you had others apart of your life.. i got soo jealous.. ha but you had my back then.. and now. and i just needed to realize that. I love you.. and know that you are one person i will stick around with for many more yearrss. love youuu.

number 10. i'm going to prove you wrong. i'll be sure of it... even if it sends me to the graves.. saying what you have said was a big mistake....