Thursday, June 16, 2011

the harsh.. icey whisper of change.

i'm scared of people dying.
i'm scared of one day having to move.
i don't like when i get a different kind of deodorant or toothpaste..
i don't like having new dance teachers.
i'm so unbelievably scared of people moving.
i watch the same movie every night.
basically. i'm annie and i have a huge problem with change.
found out sunday that the boy wanted to go to kansas city to sell pest control. shocked.. would be a good way to put it. though it was random... and such a big change in so little time. i know this is what he wants and i know he is going to be in a better situation.. He will make his own decisions. and be able to get out of the crappy situations that have been surrounding him lately. with that being said... it was time for me to buck up and support him with everything i could. hung out with him for the last time last night.. for the next seventy one days. honestly to some people that sounds like a piece of cake. and i know people are probably thinking of that whole two year orem utah commitment most boys make.. i get it. i have three friends out and plenty of cousins. but it is so different for me. i get so comfortable. and it's not easy.. it takes so much of me to open up to  people. to trust. to let love in... and so now that i know nothing different then being with him all the time.. it's just a shock. i was at his house before he left.. and was doing fine. with him saying "don't leave me" when i told him he had to go pack.. was somewhat funny.. cause earlier on in the week i told him to not leave me. but as soon as i got in the car.. haha the breaking point occurred. with people asking me if we will stay together and acting like i'm stupid when i say yes.. kind of scares me. because i don't know what the future is going to bring. or what the next 71 days will do to us. but more me. it scares me. bad.. so kansas city. you're gonna have a lot on your hands for the next while:). haha treat him well. and please keep the gangs away. someone on his flight already scared him enough. good luck boy. i'll see you soon.

No comments:

Post a Comment